COL. SANDERS’ NEW FLAGSHIP KILLER

It took a couple of re-reads to fully let the impact of the news sink in. At first, it was just words that registered: China, KFC, Phone. Then the concept fully began to connect.

The Chinese are now making a KFC smartphone.

Why are the Chinese now making a KFC smartphone?

Don’t get me wrong, I love China. I mean, like 90% of the tech that you get is “Made In China”, even the ubiquitous iPhone: “Designed in California, Made In Taiwan”. Not just tech, but even food! Did you know that although KFC originated in the U.S., it’s now the largest restaurant chain in China? Now, on KFC’s 30 year anniversary, it’s partnered with Huawei, one of China’s biggest smartphone producers, to release a KFC phone.

You read that right.

Granted, a KFC special phone manufactured by the same guys who make the perfectly reasonable Mate and Honor line of devices wasn’t exactly the product the world was pining for, but doesn’t it warm your heart to be living in an era of gratuitous marvels of technology such as this?

First Ever Fried Chicken Phone! [I think]

It’s a special edition version of the Huawei Enjoy 7 Plus. It has a 5.5-inch 720p display, a Snapdragon 435 SoC, a 12MP camera, 3GB of RAM, and 32GB of storage that can be expanded up to 128GB via a microSD card. There’s a fingerprint scanner on the back and, with a 3,020MAh battery, it should last a while on a charge.

It’s admittedly not a bad phone for the price (162 USD, or about Rs.10,000), although the contending Redmi Note 4 does pop into mind as a rival device by a fellow Chinese manufacturer.

But come on, let’s get real. We all know you’re not buying this thing for the specs. Doing so would be like buying Air Jordans to go for a run. No, you’re buying this baby for the prestige afforded by being the owner of a limited edition phone (Huawei says they’re only make 5,000) with Col. Sanders on the back.

“Kentucky China 30 years from 1987 to 2017, 30 years accompanied by the taste of the times, suck refers to the aftertaste! Kentucky together with Huawei joint cooperation, the introduction of Huawei Chang enjoy 7 Kentucky commemorative version of gorgeous struck! Commemorative Edition laser back carving, pre-installed Kentucky Super APP, with WOW member 10 thousand K gold, but also the first to experience k-music song function. Limited to 5000 will soon be on sale, waiting for you to grab!”

A cursory examination of the the quoted text (which is a victim of some unfortunate translation) reveals the phone is the whole package, coming with ten thousand K-Dollars (the restaurant’s digital currency) and the ability to share songs from a playlist when on the premises of a KFC, which basically means they’re simultaneously re-inventing the jukebox. Such innovation is rarely seen outside keynote events, so take note.

If you’re dead set on getting mileage out of the phone, though, you’d ideally be Chinese, as the bands the phone uses may not work worldwide and the version of Android 7.0 comes without Google built into it, as it’s meant for the Chinese market.

Better reach into the bucket of cash and pull out some dollars, cause this phone be finger-licking good.

Ishir Bhardwaj

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